Chapter 34 marks the final chapter of the book. Tomaso has already gone. Claudia has a false alarm with her baby, and then ends up having a not-so-false alarm the next day. She has a baby girl named Jenny who was born prematurely at 4.4 pounds. A couple of nights later Torey gets a phone call from Claudia. She is very scared and tells Torey that Jenny is so small and that she has signed the papers for someone else to adopt her. Torey helps to make her feel better and tells her that she thinks she has made a good decision.
On the last day of school, Lori wants to celebrate with her general education class, so Torey and Boo go for a walk around a park and through a zoo. She realizes that Boo has made some positive changes, but that he is still the imaginative 'dream child' that first entered her classroom at the beginning of the year. When Mrs. Franklin comes to pick him up, he does not say goodbye but rather recites the 'Tornado Watch' recording that comes on the television during storms.
Lori comes into the classroom at the very end of the day to get her things. She ends up dropping everything and crying. She has just been told that she did not pass the first grade, and that she will have to repeat it again the next year while her sister moves on. Lori becomes mad at Torey because she doesn't understand why Torey didn't do anything to stop it. Torey explains to her again and again that there was nothing she could have done, and if there was she would have done it. Lori is worried because she thinks she and her sister will no longer be twins. Of course Torey tells her that this is not true, and something 'silly like school' will never stop them from being twins. Torey decides to ask Lori to do something to celebrate (of course, Lori does not feel like there IS anything to celebrate). Eventually Lori decides that she wants to bring Libby along because she will be sad about school ending. Torey tries to convince her that just the two of them should go, because she feels so guilty about not being able to help Lori move on to second grade. When Torey is trying to explain, Lori says, "Don't worry so much, Tor. You always worry. It isn't that important. Now come on." (pg. 331). And they went.
There is an epilogue to the story, and there has since been communication with the children (that of which is on Torey Hayden's website). I do not want to COMPLETELY give away where they are now, so I will leave that to anyone who wants to actually read the book, which I HIGHLY recommend.
I enjoyed this book because it gave me so many great examples of situations one may have to encounter (or something similar) when working with students who have exceptionalies. It really makes one think about the education system and how the children who do not really have a 'place to belong' really feel. It also talks about some of the positives of mainstreaming, as well as the negatives. Of course, this book was written in the early eighties and things have certainly changed since then. We are constantly trying to improve the system and make school a positive place for EVERYONE to be educated. The children talked about in this story, all so different, also share the common trait of not having a place to belong. Their stories are very bittersweet and one definitely feels like they make a connection with almost everyone in the story. Torey Hayden has some incredibly inspiring quotes, my favorites being quoted in this blog. Just looking at the quotes alone should give anyone the inspiration to help students in need of extra guidance. Although I will not be licensed in special education, with mainstreaming I will have students in my class with all sorts of exceptionalities, and this book will be a great reference when it comes to thinking about the feelings of my students, and remembering to push through and fight for these students when no one else will. Sometimes the classroom is the only place where students feel like they belong, and it will be my job to make it feel that way. I want all of my future students to know that I care about them and about what happens to them, and that I want them to succeed, rather than setting them up to fail. Somebody Else's Kids by Torey Hayden was a very fast read and I recommend it to not only those going into education but anyone in general. It was definitely an eye-opener.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Chapter 33
In this chapter Torey is getting ready to throw a small party in her classroom to celebrate her birthday and Lori's "reading" success, as well as to mark the end of the year. The day before, Tomaso announces to everyone that he is moving back to Texas to live with his Uncle Iago, and seems incredibly excited. He then becomes more excited when he realizes that the party the next day can also be a going-away party for him!
When the party comes along, everything seems to be going well. Part-way through the party Torey notices that Tomaso is no where to be seen. When she asks Lori if she knows where he is, Lori tells her that he is in the closet crying because he already misses them. Torey goes to talk to Tomaso, and he is very upset because he does not even know his uncle and he wants to stay with his foster parents and with the class. He tells her that he is tired of moving. He then says, "I don't see why I should have ever bothered to do anything. I don't see why I ever bothered to be good, if they're going to make me go away. It doesn't matter now, everything I did." (pg. 319). Then he tells Torey that he is never going to like anybody again, because he knows that he will just have to miss them when they are gone. Torey tells him that that is all a part of caring about somebody. After a while, Tomaso does come out and join the rest of the party.
At the end of the day Torey waits with Tomaso for his bus. He starts telling her that his father (again, deceased) has come back from Spain and that he has come to pick up Tomaso so they can live together. He continues to repeat this. When Torey looks at Tomaso and makes eye contact, Tomaso finally says, "No, I'm not. I know that. I'm going to live with Uncle Iago. I'll never live with my father." (pg. 321). He then holds on to Torey until his bus comes.
This was a very touching moment to read because Torey has worked so hard to create and maintain a relationship with Tomaso, there have been many signs along the way telling of Tomaso's feelings about Torey and the class, and this was like the last piece of the puzzle. It is devastating to think about the students who don't put any trust/time into caring about people because they know they are just going to leave. They have the mindset that there's no point in 'being good' if they just have to ripped away from people all the time. With that in mind, what is there really to give them the incentive to care? I know that the foster system tries to keep students within the same districts or at least not moving them so far apart from previous places, but it still breaks my heart that there are children who have absolutely no stability in their lives, and really don't have much of a say in where they want to be.
When the party comes along, everything seems to be going well. Part-way through the party Torey notices that Tomaso is no where to be seen. When she asks Lori if she knows where he is, Lori tells her that he is in the closet crying because he already misses them. Torey goes to talk to Tomaso, and he is very upset because he does not even know his uncle and he wants to stay with his foster parents and with the class. He tells her that he is tired of moving. He then says, "I don't see why I should have ever bothered to do anything. I don't see why I ever bothered to be good, if they're going to make me go away. It doesn't matter now, everything I did." (pg. 319). Then he tells Torey that he is never going to like anybody again, because he knows that he will just have to miss them when they are gone. Torey tells him that that is all a part of caring about somebody. After a while, Tomaso does come out and join the rest of the party.
At the end of the day Torey waits with Tomaso for his bus. He starts telling her that his father (again, deceased) has come back from Spain and that he has come to pick up Tomaso so they can live together. He continues to repeat this. When Torey looks at Tomaso and makes eye contact, Tomaso finally says, "No, I'm not. I know that. I'm going to live with Uncle Iago. I'll never live with my father." (pg. 321). He then holds on to Torey until his bus comes.
This was a very touching moment to read because Torey has worked so hard to create and maintain a relationship with Tomaso, there have been many signs along the way telling of Tomaso's feelings about Torey and the class, and this was like the last piece of the puzzle. It is devastating to think about the students who don't put any trust/time into caring about people because they know they are just going to leave. They have the mindset that there's no point in 'being good' if they just have to ripped away from people all the time. With that in mind, what is there really to give them the incentive to care? I know that the foster system tries to keep students within the same districts or at least not moving them so far apart from previous places, but it still breaks my heart that there are children who have absolutely no stability in their lives, and really don't have much of a say in where they want to be.
Chapter 32
It is mid-may and Torey is now going to be involved in the decision-making process for placing the students that have come to her class. Claudia will go back to her school once the baby is born, that was the easiest decision. Torey knows that what Claudia needs is NOT more isolation but to be with her peers and live as normal of a life as she can with a new baby. Torey thinks Tomaso is ready for fifth grade in a normal classroom the next year, as his temper has been quite subdued, and he has learned to handle situations in a more controlled manner. Boo will be going to a private school where they still allow separate instruction of those with autism. With the mainstreaming law, it has been hard to find a place for Boo to get the attention he needs within the public schools. Lori was the one that Torey had heard nothing about. She was sure that Lori could fit in in a second grade classroom the next year. When she talked to the principal he told her that it had already been decided. They basically did not ask Torey to meet because they knew she would disagree: they would be holding Lori back. Torey was furious and told him that no matter what they did she was not going to learn to read like the other students, and that she can do everything else so why punish her for having a disability? When the principal tells Torey that they cannot put that kind of a burden on the second grade teachers, Torey says, "And we can lay it on Lori? We've half killed this girl already with our stupid ideas. She's already failed one grade; how is it going to be failing another? The child has a physical disability. You could keep her in first grade until she is a gray-haired grandmother and she may never learn to read." (pg. 308).
The principal told Torey that the decision had already been made and that Lori's father had already agreed. When Torey was in the classroom the next day, she helped Lori read a book. Of course, the book only contained two words total and Torey told Lori what they were, but Lori WAS able to distinguish a difference between the two words in the story. After many repetitions, Lori had memorized the story and was so excited about being 'able to read'. Torey knew that Lori was not really reading, but she also knew that with this kind of technique Lori would be able to cope with necessary reading (signs, etc.) with practice.
I felt very sad when the principal, Lori's general education teacher (who has really had it out for Lori since the beginning), and Lori's father decided that retaining her would be the best idea. It is clear that with her disability reading is never REALLY going to come to her, she will simply have to look at shapes of words and use other means of communication. Her speech is totally normal and other subject areas can have modifications made for her to do them. I really hope that they will change their mind about retaining Lori, especially because her twin sister will be moving on to the next grade, and Lori does not NEED to stay in first grade.
The principal told Torey that the decision had already been made and that Lori's father had already agreed. When Torey was in the classroom the next day, she helped Lori read a book. Of course, the book only contained two words total and Torey told Lori what they were, but Lori WAS able to distinguish a difference between the two words in the story. After many repetitions, Lori had memorized the story and was so excited about being 'able to read'. Torey knew that Lori was not really reading, but she also knew that with this kind of technique Lori would be able to cope with necessary reading (signs, etc.) with practice.
I felt very sad when the principal, Lori's general education teacher (who has really had it out for Lori since the beginning), and Lori's father decided that retaining her would be the best idea. It is clear that with her disability reading is never REALLY going to come to her, she will simply have to look at shapes of words and use other means of communication. Her speech is totally normal and other subject areas can have modifications made for her to do them. I really hope that they will change their mind about retaining Lori, especially because her twin sister will be moving on to the next grade, and Lori does not NEED to stay in first grade.
Chapter 31
In this chapter all seems to be going well until Boo has a huge meltdown. Torey had been outside with the children and Claudia had taken Boo inside to go to the bathroom. Suddenly Claudia comes running out the door and tells Torey to come help. When they all get inside, Boo is inside their normal classroom. This was because on the way back from the bathroom Claudia wanted to grab her sweater. There had been some early start on construction in the school for the summer, and since Torey's classroom was empty they must have decided to store things in there. There was a huge sheet of fiberglass insulation leaning against the cupboard. The side facing Boo was the shiny Mylar covering. Boo's body was trembling and his head was moving back and forth. He would flap his arms, and when he stopped he would grab his upper arms and "rake his fingernails down them". This created long/deep scratch marks in his arms. He even started to do this to his face until it bled, and started to pull out chunks of his hair. Torey and Tomaso worked together to get him into a corner, as he had been running around the room when they initially tried to get him under control. Once Torey got to him, he scratched her cheek and even bit her. Finally she got him into a position where he could not move his arms or bite her, and waited for him to calm down.
Claudia felt terrible about the situation, and repeatedly said that it was her fault for bringing him by the classroom. Torey told Claudia that it was definitely not her fault and that she could have never known that something like that was going to happen. Claudia started asking Torey if Boo will ever get better, and asked about the other children that come to their classroom. She tells Torey that her father told her it was a class for crazy kids before they have to be locked up as adults. She says, "I always thought crazy people were bad. Like Jack the Ripper or Son of Sam. I was scared to even think about them. But that isn't the way it really is, is it? Boo isn't bad. Or Tom or Lori." (pg. 302). They then go on to discuss whether or not people are good or bad, and Torey tells Claudia that no one is good or bad, and that those are just words.
Claudia responds, "No one's really any different, are they? We're all just pretty much the same." (302).
I thought this chapter was fairly interesting. Boo has made so much progress throughout this book, and he hadn't had a real meltdown in quite some time. It just goes to show that no matter how much progress one has made with a student there are still going to be some unexpected situations. I feel like he had this outburst because of the construction materials that had been placed in the room that were way out of the norm. Aside from that, I would have no idea why he resorted to hurting himself in the process. It's pretty scary to think about being in a situation like that, and I don't think anything besides a similar experience could really prepare anyone for handling it. I just hope that I have the right tools, support systems, and instincts to handle the situation in a safe way for everyone involved.
Claudia felt terrible about the situation, and repeatedly said that it was her fault for bringing him by the classroom. Torey told Claudia that it was definitely not her fault and that she could have never known that something like that was going to happen. Claudia started asking Torey if Boo will ever get better, and asked about the other children that come to their classroom. She tells Torey that her father told her it was a class for crazy kids before they have to be locked up as adults. She says, "I always thought crazy people were bad. Like Jack the Ripper or Son of Sam. I was scared to even think about them. But that isn't the way it really is, is it? Boo isn't bad. Or Tom or Lori." (pg. 302). They then go on to discuss whether or not people are good or bad, and Torey tells Claudia that no one is good or bad, and that those are just words.
Claudia responds, "No one's really any different, are they? We're all just pretty much the same." (302).
I thought this chapter was fairly interesting. Boo has made so much progress throughout this book, and he hadn't had a real meltdown in quite some time. It just goes to show that no matter how much progress one has made with a student there are still going to be some unexpected situations. I feel like he had this outburst because of the construction materials that had been placed in the room that were way out of the norm. Aside from that, I would have no idea why he resorted to hurting himself in the process. It's pretty scary to think about being in a situation like that, and I don't think anything besides a similar experience could really prepare anyone for handling it. I just hope that I have the right tools, support systems, and instincts to handle the situation in a safe way for everyone involved.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Chapter 30
In this chapter Torey talks about how the year is winding down, and how many of the classes/grades are having programs and plays to celebrate different events (Mother's Day, May Day, end of school year, etc.) Lori cannot stop singing the songs from the first grade program, because her sister Libby had taught her all of the words. Torey feels bad because she doesn't have the time to create a program for her own students. She talks about how she wishes she could help Lori and for Lori to have some kind of normalcy. She says:
"It must have been hard. Hard being seven and relegated to the never-never land of a class like this. Hard wanting to be like everyone else and never quite understanding why you couldn't be. I had underestimated Lori. I had believed that if I could get her away from all the pressure of things she was incapable of, away from the abuse and humiliation, that was all she needed. I was wrong. This was not where she wanted to be. My room was safer, easier, but it was second choice. If she had had her way--if she could have managed it--Lori would have been a "real" first grader." (pg. 292).
I think a case like Lori's would be almost more difficult than that of a child with severe mental limitations. In all other aspects besides reading, Lori is a 'normal' even BRIGHT child who is fully aware that she is being separated from others and made to feel different. I hope that I will be able to have a classroom where although everyone has different abilities and some have exceptionalities, everyone will still feel like they belong there.
Torey then brings her guitar. Lori decides that she wants to do an act in the upcoming talent show. The other students aren't very enthusiastic about it, and neither is Torey. They end up singing made up verses to "He's got the whole world in His hands", naming each of their small classroom's students as the song goes along. It was a very united moment for Torey's small class.
"It must have been hard. Hard being seven and relegated to the never-never land of a class like this. Hard wanting to be like everyone else and never quite understanding why you couldn't be. I had underestimated Lori. I had believed that if I could get her away from all the pressure of things she was incapable of, away from the abuse and humiliation, that was all she needed. I was wrong. This was not where she wanted to be. My room was safer, easier, but it was second choice. If she had had her way--if she could have managed it--Lori would have been a "real" first grader." (pg. 292).
I think a case like Lori's would be almost more difficult than that of a child with severe mental limitations. In all other aspects besides reading, Lori is a 'normal' even BRIGHT child who is fully aware that she is being separated from others and made to feel different. I hope that I will be able to have a classroom where although everyone has different abilities and some have exceptionalities, everyone will still feel like they belong there.
Torey then brings her guitar. Lori decides that she wants to do an act in the upcoming talent show. The other students aren't very enthusiastic about it, and neither is Torey. They end up singing made up verses to "He's got the whole world in His hands", naming each of their small classroom's students as the song goes along. It was a very united moment for Torey's small class.
Chapter 29
In this chapter a woman named Ariadne Boom comes into Torey's classroom. She came from the state Office of Public Instruction. Torey talks about how Ariadne was known for always jumping on different bandwagons and right then she was specifically interested in special education classrooms, so she was making 'a tour' of different classrooms and was assigned to observe Torey. Torey becomes very nervous but things go well overall. When she talks to Ariadne the toughest thing she was asked was which educational model she adhered to. Torey did not know, because she didn't really have a specific philosophy that she followed. She just tried new things when others didn't seem to be working, and kept using certain tactics that were effective.
As much as I am interested in different teaching philosophies, psychologist theories, and so on, when you actually get into a school it is going to be a whole different world. Sure I think there will be times that in hindsight will match up with a certain philosophy or some theory, but I highly doubt I will consciously be trying to align every action I take with a certain textbook philosophy. This is why I think although college class experiences are good, it is the field experience and practicums that will really get us ready for what we are going to have to do in a school setting. It's nice to know some of the background information, but every teacher is going to have slightly different goals from others, and those goals will always be changing.
As much as I am interested in different teaching philosophies, psychologist theories, and so on, when you actually get into a school it is going to be a whole different world. Sure I think there will be times that in hindsight will match up with a certain philosophy or some theory, but I highly doubt I will consciously be trying to align every action I take with a certain textbook philosophy. This is why I think although college class experiences are good, it is the field experience and practicums that will really get us ready for what we are going to have to do in a school setting. It's nice to know some of the background information, but every teacher is going to have slightly different goals from others, and those goals will always be changing.
Chapter 28
In this chapter Torey discusses some of the progress of her students. Lori is actually excelling in all of her subjects (besides reading and writing of course). She tries to give Lori as many activities that don't involve reading as possible. When something requires reading, Tomaso will do the reading or writing for Lori, and Lori will tell him what to write.
Tomaso is also making progress. He no longer uses vulgar language (or at least almost none). He is able to control his temper much better and does not become as quickly frustrated with tasks as he used to. He still talks about his father as though he is alive, but it is becoming less and less. As far as reading goes, he has learned 18 months of reading skills in 6 months. Math is still somewhat of a struggle. He understands basic concepts but gets confused when he is faced with word problems, as he is not sure how the words related to the equations he is used to.
As a math TA this is something that I see a lot (having trouble taking information from word problems to set up equations). I think that so many teachers throughout the years try to ignore a lot of the word problems (at least in my schools). Many of the teachers would assign them as extra credit, and proclaim them to be more difficult which immediately discouraged the students from ever wanting to solve them. The key is really to break the problem up step by step, pulling out tiny bits of information as you read along.
Claudia missed a full week of school, and when Torey tried to get a hold of her family no one would answer. When Claudia returned the next week she looked ill, but went to work as usual. Claudia informed Torey that she started seeing a psychiatrist and that she was happy about it. Torey was happy to hear this but was still worried as something seemed off. When Claudia told her more about the psychiatrist she was seeing and how her parents decided to let her talk to someone, she casually revealed to Torey that she had tried to kill herself the weekend before. I thought this was interesting because through the whole book Torey had talked about her worries about Claudia and how she was sure she was suffering from some sort of depression (of course, this is all written in hindsight, so who knows how many of the signs she actually noticed at the time, but still).
It makes me really sad to know that there are CHILDREN who try to commit suicide. Although this is a tragedy no matter the age, it really bothers me that a child, whose life is supposed to be simple and care-free, could hate the world or themselves so much that they don't feel like they can go on any longer.
Tomaso is also making progress. He no longer uses vulgar language (or at least almost none). He is able to control his temper much better and does not become as quickly frustrated with tasks as he used to. He still talks about his father as though he is alive, but it is becoming less and less. As far as reading goes, he has learned 18 months of reading skills in 6 months. Math is still somewhat of a struggle. He understands basic concepts but gets confused when he is faced with word problems, as he is not sure how the words related to the equations he is used to.
As a math TA this is something that I see a lot (having trouble taking information from word problems to set up equations). I think that so many teachers throughout the years try to ignore a lot of the word problems (at least in my schools). Many of the teachers would assign them as extra credit, and proclaim them to be more difficult which immediately discouraged the students from ever wanting to solve them. The key is really to break the problem up step by step, pulling out tiny bits of information as you read along.
Claudia missed a full week of school, and when Torey tried to get a hold of her family no one would answer. When Claudia returned the next week she looked ill, but went to work as usual. Claudia informed Torey that she started seeing a psychiatrist and that she was happy about it. Torey was happy to hear this but was still worried as something seemed off. When Claudia told her more about the psychiatrist she was seeing and how her parents decided to let her talk to someone, she casually revealed to Torey that she had tried to kill herself the weekend before. I thought this was interesting because through the whole book Torey had talked about her worries about Claudia and how she was sure she was suffering from some sort of depression (of course, this is all written in hindsight, so who knows how many of the signs she actually noticed at the time, but still).
It makes me really sad to know that there are CHILDREN who try to commit suicide. Although this is a tragedy no matter the age, it really bothers me that a child, whose life is supposed to be simple and care-free, could hate the world or themselves so much that they don't feel like they can go on any longer.
Chapter 27
This chapter was rather short. Torey meets with the administrators as well as Lori's general education teacher. She reflects on the fact that because her and Edna do not and will not see eye-to-eye on many things, she will never really know her as a person but rather as her stubborn co-worker. This in itself although not necessarily specific to education is something that I liked to think about. It is amazing how we have certain thoughts about certain people in a professional sense, whether it be our co-workers, professors, classmates, or the waitress that waited on my family's table the other night. We often do not take the time to think about what their home lives are like. What have they gone through today? What have they been through during their lifetime? It's a good lesson for anyone to take the time and think about what other people have had to go through before giving them a hard time, or even any lack of compassion.
They decided to let Torey continue with her modified curriculum for Lori. They decided that Lori's chances of reading because of her injury were extremely low, and that she should continue to focus on other subjects rather than focus on reading and become behind in everything. I think that this was a wise decision. Although it is tough for many people to imagine not even trying to teach a child to read anymore, sometimes I think there are more important things to think about, and is the price of teaching them to read going to be worth it if it damages many other aspects of the child's life?
They decided to let Torey continue with her modified curriculum for Lori. They decided that Lori's chances of reading because of her injury were extremely low, and that she should continue to focus on other subjects rather than focus on reading and become behind in everything. I think that this was a wise decision. Although it is tough for many people to imagine not even trying to teach a child to read anymore, sometimes I think there are more important things to think about, and is the price of teaching them to read going to be worth it if it damages many other aspects of the child's life?
Chapter 26
In this chapter, Edna Thorsen (Lori's general education teacher) finds out that Torey has not been teaching with the provided reading curriculum, and hasn't even been teaching reading at all. This is brought to the principal's attention, who confronts Torey. Torey becomes very frustrated and sarcastic, so the principal decides that he is going to set up a meeting with the special education director. Torey insists the Lori is simply not developmentally ready for reading yet, with her brain injuries, but is excelling at many other subjects and is in fact very bright.
Torey discusses her dislike for the mainstreaming law (which we now implement more and more). I thought that it was interesting to hear her take on it because we are only told of the very positive outcomes of it (because our textbook definitely promotes it). She says:
"To try one's hardest, to constantly be putting out one's best effort and always be the stupidest kid in the class, as in the case of the slow-learning child, was emotionally devastating. And for kids like mine who had skewed perceptions of the world or who needed intense, provocative interactions in the classroom, there was no way this could be given to them with thirty other children and a harried teacher. For them the law could be slow death." (pg. 259).
Although I do agree with a lot of the mainstreaming, I do think that it can make things more difficult for some students IF the wrong sorts of emphasis are being placed on certain skills rather than focusing on their strengths. I think that since this book has been written there have been a lot of improvements made with this law, and that there are more curricula that cater to students with many different needs. It is important that we are utilizing these types of curricula rather than on those that only focus that are performing at grade-level and have no significant trouble with specific skills.
Torey discusses her dislike for the mainstreaming law (which we now implement more and more). I thought that it was interesting to hear her take on it because we are only told of the very positive outcomes of it (because our textbook definitely promotes it). She says:
"To try one's hardest, to constantly be putting out one's best effort and always be the stupidest kid in the class, as in the case of the slow-learning child, was emotionally devastating. And for kids like mine who had skewed perceptions of the world or who needed intense, provocative interactions in the classroom, there was no way this could be given to them with thirty other children and a harried teacher. For them the law could be slow death." (pg. 259).
Although I do agree with a lot of the mainstreaming, I do think that it can make things more difficult for some students IF the wrong sorts of emphasis are being placed on certain skills rather than focusing on their strengths. I think that since this book has been written there have been a lot of improvements made with this law, and that there are more curricula that cater to students with many different needs. It is important that we are utilizing these types of curricula rather than on those that only focus that are performing at grade-level and have no significant trouble with specific skills.
Chapter 25
Torey has a break through with Tomaso in this chapter. Tomaso comes into class one day with a bull fighter statue, and starts telling everyone that his father made it for him, and could make anything that he asked him to (his father is deceased). When Claudia confronts him and tells him that there is no way that his father made it but was from a store, Tomaso becomes very upset and insists that Torey say something to Claudia for calling Tomaso a liar. Torey pulls Tomaso off to the side and tells Tomaso that sometimes it's okay to make up stories for ourselves in order to feel better, and that sometimes stories make us feel better than reality. Tomaso finally notes the fact that his father is dead, and also acknowledges the fact that he understands that Torey must have known this all along. He asks Torey why people die, and says that he wishes that would never happen.
We also hear about Tomaso's experience when his father died, and how his stepmother killed him. We then hear that Tomaso has a brother named Cesar, and does not know where he is. Although there has been a breakthrough with Tomaso finally acknowledging his father's death, at the end of the chapter he says, "My father didn't really make that for me. I made it myself at Boys' Club. That was dumb of me to say. My father couldn't make it. He's away in Spain right now, looking for a home for me and him. Why, probably right now he's found one and pretty soon he'll come get me". (pg. 253).
This chapter was extremely sad, and really makes one realize that not all children's lives are surrounded by happiness, safety, and love. It is amazing to hear some of the stories from children of what they have already gone through in their short lives. There is so much violence experie. nced by innocent children and it makes me extremely devastated. I have heard many stories of abuse and spousal violence. There was actually someone from my town who's father killed their mother. I could not imagine what it would be like to have been in a situation like that. This chapter also reminded me of some of the stories we read in our diversity class last semester about some of the refugee students. So many children have heard and seen things that they should never have to experience. It's important for all of us to remember this, and to try and make school at least one safe place for them to go.
We also hear about Tomaso's experience when his father died, and how his stepmother killed him. We then hear that Tomaso has a brother named Cesar, and does not know where he is. Although there has been a breakthrough with Tomaso finally acknowledging his father's death, at the end of the chapter he says, "My father didn't really make that for me. I made it myself at Boys' Club. That was dumb of me to say. My father couldn't make it. He's away in Spain right now, looking for a home for me and him. Why, probably right now he's found one and pretty soon he'll come get me". (pg. 253).
This chapter was extremely sad, and really makes one realize that not all children's lives are surrounded by happiness, safety, and love. It is amazing to hear some of the stories from children of what they have already gone through in their short lives. There is so much violence experie. nced by innocent children and it makes me extremely devastated. I have heard many stories of abuse and spousal violence. There was actually someone from my town who's father killed their mother. I could not imagine what it would be like to have been in a situation like that. This chapter also reminded me of some of the stories we read in our diversity class last semester about some of the refugee students. So many children have heard and seen things that they should never have to experience. It's important for all of us to remember this, and to try and make school at least one safe place for them to go.
Chapter 24
Lori has finally come back to school, and Torey has made some drastic and not-quite-approved changes. She is no longer going to be focusing on teaching Lori reading, writing, or spelling. Instead she rips all of the reading materials for Lori apart and throws them in the garbage, to show Lori how serious she was about other skills being just as important if not more than reading. Lori becomes somewhat upset because she DOES want to learn to read, and doesn't want Torey to give up on her. Torey tells her that people are like hyacinth bulbs (the ones they planted earlier in the year). They need to sit and grow roots first, before blooming. She tells Lori that we can't always see the roots growing, but they're growing just the same. Torey says that she is not giving up, and that they will try to help her read, but for now they are going to focus on other things so that Lori can create roots all the while.
I think that this is a good strategy. Since there seems to be no improvement with the reading and Lori already doesn't want to come to school, I think that making her as comfortable as possible in school and helping her to learn other skills is still being productive. I just hope that along the line Torey or someone else was able to help reading 'click' for Lori.
Claudia is still a concern for Torey, and she realizes that she is going to have to be the only resource Claudia has involving pregnancy questions, or questions about anything else for that matter. When Claudia finds a Cosmopolitan magazine, she starts asking Torey some interesting questions about one of the articles. To her surprise, sex is supposed to feel good. Something that really made me think was when Claudia said, "You're supposed to WANT to have sex? Wow, I sure never knew that. I thought it was just something you did because you had to, to get a guy to like you and not leave you for somebody else. I sure didn't know you were supposed to feel good doing it." (pg. 243). It made me sad to think that there are girls who think that they need to do certain things in order to keep boys happy. I've seen examples way too many times, and although there has been more sex education I feel that there needs to be more education about the emotional side of things.
I think that this is a good strategy. Since there seems to be no improvement with the reading and Lori already doesn't want to come to school, I think that making her as comfortable as possible in school and helping her to learn other skills is still being productive. I just hope that along the line Torey or someone else was able to help reading 'click' for Lori.
Claudia is still a concern for Torey, and she realizes that she is going to have to be the only resource Claudia has involving pregnancy questions, or questions about anything else for that matter. When Claudia finds a Cosmopolitan magazine, she starts asking Torey some interesting questions about one of the articles. To her surprise, sex is supposed to feel good. Something that really made me think was when Claudia said, "You're supposed to WANT to have sex? Wow, I sure never knew that. I thought it was just something you did because you had to, to get a guy to like you and not leave you for somebody else. I sure didn't know you were supposed to feel good doing it." (pg. 243). It made me sad to think that there are girls who think that they need to do certain things in order to keep boys happy. I've seen examples way too many times, and although there has been more sex education I feel that there needs to be more education about the emotional side of things.
Chapter 23
The staff at the school and Torey come to the decision that if Lori does come back to school, she will be in Torey's classroom almost full time while still officially being on Edna's class roster. Lori will stay in Torey's room for all subjects except for physical education, music, and social studies. When Torey contacts Lori's father, he tells her that he can't bring himself to force Lori to go to school, but Torey tells him that the best thing for Lori is to come back, and that she can't make things right if Lori isn't there. Finally it is agreed that Torey will come to their home for a visit. When she does, Lori is pretty upset and tells her to go away. She tells Torey that she is never going back to school because of what Edna did to her, and basically that no one was going to make her. Torey tells Lori that she is sorry that everyone made reading out to be more important than it really is. She tells Lori that she has so many other gifts and talents and she just happens to have a hard time with reading. At the end of the chapter Lori seems to be somewhat more convinced to come back to school.
It is devastating to think about a child not wanting to come to school because they feel like they are vulnerable to humiliation not just from their peers but coming from their own TEACHER. Teachers should always be striving to make students feel safe, not to make them feel stupid and like a complete failure. One of the things we talked about in our EDUC 250 class is about the downfalls of "popcorn reading", where students read aloud one at a time from a certain story/passage. I think that this does more harm than good, and that there are plenty of opportunities for students to read aloud without having to feel humiliated if they don't get through a chapter. There are many things teachers can do in order to promote a POSITIVE learning environment for all of their students. I know I will take these things into consideration when creating my own teaching philosophy and classroom structure.
It is devastating to think about a child not wanting to come to school because they feel like they are vulnerable to humiliation not just from their peers but coming from their own TEACHER. Teachers should always be striving to make students feel safe, not to make them feel stupid and like a complete failure. One of the things we talked about in our EDUC 250 class is about the downfalls of "popcorn reading", where students read aloud one at a time from a certain story/passage. I think that this does more harm than good, and that there are plenty of opportunities for students to read aloud without having to feel humiliated if they don't get through a chapter. There are many things teachers can do in order to promote a POSITIVE learning environment for all of their students. I know I will take these things into consideration when creating my own teaching philosophy and classroom structure.
Chapter 22
Libby continues to come to Torey's room to pick up Lori's homework, even though Torey has told her previously that Lori does not have any homework that would come from her class. Libby ends up asking Torey some tough questions about Lori. She asks if Lori is retarded, to which Torey replies that she is not, and that she is still good at many other things but that she just has a hard time with reading. Torey gets Libby to tell her what REALLY happened the day of the breakdown. Libby tells Torey that Mrs. Thorsen was making Lori read in front of everyone in the class, even though she knew she wasn't able to read very well. Not only did she do this, but she gave her one of the books from the higher reading groups. When Lori couldn't read it, she gave her an easier book. She continued to giver her "babier and babier" books. By the time Lori was given a book that she could read, she was so nervous that she threw up. Libby told Torey that Mrs. Thorsen never even said that she was sorry. She also told Torey that sometimes she (Libby) spits at Mrs. Thorsen, and says that someday she is going to spit in her face.
Libby also reveals more information about their original parents, and how her father and mother used to beat both of them but that he would beat Lori until she completely stopped crying. She also told Torey about a time when her father broke her (Libby's) arm, and it was so bad that they had to go to the hospital. He told her to tell the doctor that she fell down the stairs. Then she told Torey that someday she was going to find her real father and kill him for what he did to Lori.
This chapter was really sad to read. It is interesting to her the perspective of the sibling of someone with a disability. I think that often times these children are overlooked during the whole process, and are expected to always "be fine" no matter what happens. We have to remember how a child's situation is affecting everyone around them as well.
Libby also reveals more information about their original parents, and how her father and mother used to beat both of them but that he would beat Lori until she completely stopped crying. She also told Torey about a time when her father broke her (Libby's) arm, and it was so bad that they had to go to the hospital. He told her to tell the doctor that she fell down the stairs. Then she told Torey that someday she was going to find her real father and kill him for what he did to Lori.
This chapter was really sad to read. It is interesting to her the perspective of the sibling of someone with a disability. I think that often times these children are overlooked during the whole process, and are expected to always "be fine" no matter what happens. We have to remember how a child's situation is affecting everyone around them as well.
Chapter 21
Lori has still not come back to school after her 'episode'. Her twin sister Libby now comes to pick up her homework, and her father does not know what to do. On the first day that Lori does not show up, Tomaso is extremely upset, and Boo even shows that he is concerned about where Lori is. He starts running around saying "What letter is this?", something that Torey always says to Lori. He also grabs the Valentine's Day book that Lori made from him and insists on showing them the pictures and naming what is there, he looks at them expectantly as if he is waiting for them to do what he is asking. I think that this shows that since there has been even the slightest disruption of some kind of normalcy in Boo's day (him being used to Lori's presence, and now she is gone), he is trying to figure out where she could possibly be. The fact that she is not there probably does not make sense to him, since she has never missed a day.
When the staff talks to Lori's father, Edna (Lori's general education teacher) paints a pretty bleak picture about Lori's situation. They go on to suggest many different types of help, to which Lori's father counter-suggests other options. Torey sits and does not say anything. One quote I liked from this section was:
"If Lori had been blind or deaf or without arms we would be brutes for bludgeoning her into a breakdown, but because she had a disability no one could see, we were able to put the blame on her. And we could sit here guiltlessly and do what professionals are so good at doing: playing God." (pg. 212).
I thought this was a good representation of how people used to deal with things like learning disabilities. It shows that since it was something that was not understood, it was easy to put blame on the students for their failures rather than on the teachers/staff for not recognizing a way to help the student succeed.
When the staff talks to Lori's father, Edna (Lori's general education teacher) paints a pretty bleak picture about Lori's situation. They go on to suggest many different types of help, to which Lori's father counter-suggests other options. Torey sits and does not say anything. One quote I liked from this section was:
"If Lori had been blind or deaf or without arms we would be brutes for bludgeoning her into a breakdown, but because she had a disability no one could see, we were able to put the blame on her. And we could sit here guiltlessly and do what professionals are so good at doing: playing God." (pg. 212).
I thought this was a good representation of how people used to deal with things like learning disabilities. It shows that since it was something that was not understood, it was easy to put blame on the students for their failures rather than on the teachers/staff for not recognizing a way to help the student succeed.
Chapter 20
Torey went for a four hour drive/exploring after her frustrating day with Lori and the other children. She was so relaxed from it that she didn't even think about the day. She just wanted to have some time to herself to really be calm. When she got home, Joc was there and was very angry with her, as they had been invited to an anniversary dinner but had to miss it because Torey had forgotten and not arrived home until two hours after the party started. Joc went on another rampage about how Torey is obsessed with crazy, and told her that she is not that important at her job and that she had a "God complex". He left, and Torey said that she knew this argument would be their last, so I'm guessing they broke up officially. This was interesting, because I thought they had already broken up, and the whole book she talks about how she was not going to end up with him, so I am always wondering when the REAL end of their relationship happens. I think that this time it is the final break up. Once again, this book shows an example of how frustrating and stressful working with certain situations can be, and how sometimes we need to be able to make time for ourselves to relax and not worry about what happened. I hope that my relationship with my significant other will always stay strong, and that he will continue to have an understanding for the emotions that will come home with me (and for me to have that same understanding for him).
Chapter 19
This chapter revolves around a Lori breakdown. Torey hears a scream and Lori ends up running into the classroom and hiding under an art cabinet. She does not stop sobbing for a very long time. When her general education teacher and the principal finally come to Torey's room, they tell her that everything was normal and that Lori was goofing off, and when the teacher yelled at her she ended up throwing up and running out of the room screaming. Edna, the general education teacher, insists that Lori is crazy. She also wants the principal to call a mental hospital and have Lori be taken away, because she feels that there is no point having a crazy person in the classroom. Torey convinces them to let Lori stay in her room until she feels better.
Lori stays in the room pretty much all day, and the other children (Tomaso and Claudia) are upset. Torey becomes frustrated when Tomaso keeps trying to talk to Lori, to which he responds, "But she needs me!". This once again shows how strong of a bond Tomaso and Lori now share.
Lori stays under the art cabinet all day. When all of the students have left and Lori's father has been called to come get her, Torey sits by Lori and starts singing. After awhile Lori finally comes out to be held by Torey, and Torey tells her that she won't let anything bad happen to her and that they will get through anything together.
I found this situation to be very interesting, and once again it is something that one does not usually think about when they imagine their 'perfect' career as an educator. Then I realize that this is all a part of the job, and that we have to be ready for any kind of situation, and not knowing why students do certain things but just to try to be there to help them through whatever they are going through. I think sometimes it is important to remember that we are not always going to understand why students are doing things, but that it is important to show them that no matter what, we care about them, and we are going to make them feel safe.
Lori stays in the room pretty much all day, and the other children (Tomaso and Claudia) are upset. Torey becomes frustrated when Tomaso keeps trying to talk to Lori, to which he responds, "But she needs me!". This once again shows how strong of a bond Tomaso and Lori now share.
Lori stays under the art cabinet all day. When all of the students have left and Lori's father has been called to come get her, Torey sits by Lori and starts singing. After awhile Lori finally comes out to be held by Torey, and Torey tells her that she won't let anything bad happen to her and that they will get through anything together.
I found this situation to be very interesting, and once again it is something that one does not usually think about when they imagine their 'perfect' career as an educator. Then I realize that this is all a part of the job, and that we have to be ready for any kind of situation, and not knowing why students do certain things but just to try to be there to help them through whatever they are going through. I think sometimes it is important to remember that we are not always going to understand why students are doing things, but that it is important to show them that no matter what, we care about them, and we are going to make them feel safe.
Chapter 18
Torey notices that things have changed with Tomaso. Although he still frequently becomes angry, there are no more violent outbursts and there seems to be an understanding between him and Torey. I really liked what she said about this milestone, which was, "We both knew now how bad things could get between us and not damage the relationship. The test by fire had come and we had survived it." (pg. 180). I really liked this quote because it shows how Tomaso thought of relationships in general, and that if one bad thing happened the relationships would be over. This also shows how his past relationships have gone, which is why he is so distrusting towards everyone he meets.
The next part of the chapter talks about Claudia, and how Torey is still very concerned about her. She feels that Claudia is most likely dealing with depression, and wants to find some kind of support for her. When she calls Claudia's mother, she simply laughs and tells Torey that it is just an adolescent phase. When Torey tries to find a support group for Claudia, she cannot find anyone willing to help. She almost finds a group held at a high school for pregnant girls to talk to each other, but they tell Torey that Claudia is too young for such mature subjects. I found this somewhat funny because if Claudia is already pregnant, she clearly knows about some of the subjects being talked about already. A quote I found interesting from this part of the chapter came from Torey discussing the issue with the school nurse:
"The problem, she feels, is in Claudia's age, not her pregnancy. No one wants to acknowledge that a young child can and will get pregnant. As in such areas as physical or sexual abuse of children, the issue is too shocking to allow most people to accept it as a problem to be worked on. Maybe if they ignore it, it will go away." (pg. 186).
It is sad to hear that at this time in our country people just wanted to ignore such a serious issue, where girls who are already in a tough situation become ignored and have no support. Although I feel that pregnancies for VERY young girls is still pretty taboo, I think people are better about getting girls educated on what they need to do if they get pregnant, and there are a lot more preventative measures being taken with sex education in schools, so that young girls will actually understand what outcomes are possible. I understand that this is still a touchy subject for a lot of parents, but it is my hope that more education will help lower rates of teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. The situation presented in the book is a prime example of why we cannot be ignoring these children in need.
The next part of the chapter talks about Claudia, and how Torey is still very concerned about her. She feels that Claudia is most likely dealing with depression, and wants to find some kind of support for her. When she calls Claudia's mother, she simply laughs and tells Torey that it is just an adolescent phase. When Torey tries to find a support group for Claudia, she cannot find anyone willing to help. She almost finds a group held at a high school for pregnant girls to talk to each other, but they tell Torey that Claudia is too young for such mature subjects. I found this somewhat funny because if Claudia is already pregnant, she clearly knows about some of the subjects being talked about already. A quote I found interesting from this part of the chapter came from Torey discussing the issue with the school nurse:
"The problem, she feels, is in Claudia's age, not her pregnancy. No one wants to acknowledge that a young child can and will get pregnant. As in such areas as physical or sexual abuse of children, the issue is too shocking to allow most people to accept it as a problem to be worked on. Maybe if they ignore it, it will go away." (pg. 186).
It is sad to hear that at this time in our country people just wanted to ignore such a serious issue, where girls who are already in a tough situation become ignored and have no support. Although I feel that pregnancies for VERY young girls is still pretty taboo, I think people are better about getting girls educated on what they need to do if they get pregnant, and there are a lot more preventative measures being taken with sex education in schools, so that young girls will actually understand what outcomes are possible. I understand that this is still a touchy subject for a lot of parents, but it is my hope that more education will help lower rates of teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. The situation presented in the book is a prime example of why we cannot be ignoring these children in need.
Chapter 17
This chapter discussed Tomaso's birthday, and how Torey's students helped make a 'party' for him. Tomaso was so excited to have a party just for him, and told everyone that NO ONE had ever thrown him a party, "Not ever." Of course this made me sad to read this, because it is just another reminder of how different childhood can be for some children in comparison to myself or others. It really makes one take the time to think about potential students and remembering that not everyone gets to have a special celebration, whether it be because their guardians can't afford it or simply don't care enough to make the effort. Lori was especially excited because she had gotten Tomaso a present. When he opened it, everything turned to chaos. It was a teddy bear. Previously Tomaso had mentioned that he had had a teddy bear and that it had been taken away by a bigger boy when he was little. Lori thought the bear was a good gift because she knew that his old bear had meant a lot to him. Tomaso yelled at Lori, telling her that she was stupid and that it was a baby gift, etc., clearly feeling like he had to maintain some dignity of some display of manhood. Tomaso took a scissors and stabbed the bear, ripping out a large portion of its stuffing. When Torey tried to calm Tomaso down, he told her to shut up, and ended up taking the scissors and holding it against her gut, threatening to hurt her. Things stayed silent in the classroom for a seemingly long time as he held the scissors against Torey, and finally he dropped the scissors and started crying. Torey held him for a long time, and when the day was finally over Tomaso came up to her and asked if she could fix the bear. When she said she could, Tomaso and Lori insisted that they stay after school until Torey was done stitching up the bear. Lori told Torey that she realized that Torey doesn't really care if things don't always work out so well. At the end of the chapter, Tomaso asks Torey if she loves him, to which she replies, "Yes. I guess that's another way of saying it." (pg. 178).
This is definitely showing that Tomaso is realizing that no matter how much he 'does wrong', Torey will still care about him and want him to be okay. This was a very touching part of the book because Torey is finally making more of an emotional connection with Tomaso, which she has been trying to make for a long time. I hope that I will be able to make these types of connections with even my most difficult students, as this bond helps make other things run much more smoothly.
This is definitely showing that Tomaso is realizing that no matter how much he 'does wrong', Torey will still care about him and want him to be okay. This was a very touching part of the book because Torey is finally making more of an emotional connection with Tomaso, which she has been trying to make for a long time. I hope that I will be able to make these types of connections with even my most difficult students, as this bond helps make other things run much more smoothly.
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